(Note : Dedicated to all the single folks out there. While you sit there complaining, remember that your life is the envy of couples everywhere. 😂)
After careful deliberation on (or mostly just whining about) our love lives, my best friend, Vedika and I have made the decision that we don't need men to make us happy. We're single and we're going to prove to ourselves that that's supposed to be a good thing and a girls day out this Valentine's Day is how we're going to do it.
It's 11 pm on Valentine's eve and just as I am about to break yet another new year's resolution by scrolling through my contacts to find my ex-boyfriend's number, she calls.
"Emergency intervention needed. I'm coming over," she says.
"See you in a second."
I disconnect the call and hear my doorbell ring. Did I mention my best friend is also my next-door neighbour?
Muffled voices from the living room and thirty seconds later, she bursts into my bedroom saying, "I don't believe this guy! Kunal just posted a story with a photo of him with that stupid bitch, Aparna and some really cheesy caption that I'm sure he's copied from someone's stupid Facebook love post. And I can't believe that I'm wasting my life wondering whether I was too harsh to him!"
"Babe, we've already discussed that, like a thousand times. He's a cheating scum bag. There's no such thing as too harsh. Also, for the thousandth time, why the hell are you still following him?" I reply, with one half of my rational brain, while the other half is still horrified at the call I almost made just minutes ago.
"I just.. you know.. wait, what's wrong?" I don't know how she does it but sometimes I think she can literally sniff out my guilt.
She narrows her eyes.
"You did something stupid, didn't you?"
My silence is confession enough.
"Give me your phone."
And before I can react, she lunges forward and grabs it from my fingers.
"Oh my God! You were about to call Sahil, weren't you?"
I groan and cover my face with my hands.
"Well, what the fuck do you expect? It's Valentine's-Fucking-Day", I say, frustration spilling out of my words.
"God Maddy, we can't keep having the same fucking discussion over and over again. YOU. CAN'T. CALL. YOUR. EX. BOYFRIEND. Especially not on Valentine's eve. What the hell were you thinking?"
"Bitch please, it's not as if you're being super mature or anything. You're stalking your cheating ex on Instagram and you're one to talk!", I say, all defensive.
She opens her mouth to say something but then, thinking better, sighs dramatically and plops down on my bed.
"Shit man! What happened to us? We used to be so much fun. When did we turn into such miserable cows?", she says.
"Oh come on Vedi, we're still fun. It's just this stupid month with this stupid date. Fake couples with their fake love and their fake smiles, rubbing their fake happiness in our faces."
"Ugh. Just thinking about tomorrow makes me want to throw up."
"Hey, not on my bed."
She rolls her eyes, gives me her fuck-you-Monica-Geller look and finishes it up with another dramatic sigh.
"This is so unfair! We're going to die single. Vedika and Madhura - the crazy cat ladies that everyone avoids."
"Hey, I'm not going to be a crazy cat lady. I'd rather have....", I start and then noticing her murderous expression, finish with, "....dogs, but that's so not the point right now."
"Damn it, why couldn't have one of us been a guy! It would've been so much easier!", she groans.
"Or we could've both been lesbians."
Oh shit, it's red alert. When one or both of us starts wishing for change of gender or sexual orientation, it is an official emergency and if there was ever a time for emergency intervention, this is it. If one of us doesn't get our shit together right now, the night is going to spiral into a tragic little sob fest.
This time, I decide to be the grown-up.
"Hey, come on. We're overthinking it. It's just another day. It's not going to be that bad. In fact, think of everything that we're going to do tomorrow. It's going to be a fucking blast. We have more fun in one day as single girls than we've had in our entire relationships. Come on, you know we're going to have fun tomorrow. We'll even do Phoebe's boyfriend bonfire, if you want. You know, just to get out of the bad boyfriend cycle."
She gives me a wicked grin.
"We will?"
"Uh-huh. Although, no dancing around it naked."
"Damn! That was the best part!"
We both laugh.
I grab my laptop from across the bed. Noticing her questioning look I say, "Oh, just want to make sure we do the bonfire ritual right", and hit play on F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
After careful deliberation on (or mostly just whining about) our love lives, my best friend, Vedika and I have made the decision that we don't need men to make us happy. We're single and we're going to prove to ourselves that that's supposed to be a good thing and a girls day out this Valentine's Day is how we're going to do it.
It's 11 pm on Valentine's eve and just as I am about to break yet another new year's resolution by scrolling through my contacts to find my ex-boyfriend's number, she calls.
"Emergency intervention needed. I'm coming over," she says.
"See you in a second."
I disconnect the call and hear my doorbell ring. Did I mention my best friend is also my next-door neighbour?
Muffled voices from the living room and thirty seconds later, she bursts into my bedroom saying, "I don't believe this guy! Kunal just posted a story with a photo of him with that stupid bitch, Aparna and some really cheesy caption that I'm sure he's copied from someone's stupid Facebook love post. And I can't believe that I'm wasting my life wondering whether I was too harsh to him!"
"Babe, we've already discussed that, like a thousand times. He's a cheating scum bag. There's no such thing as too harsh. Also, for the thousandth time, why the hell are you still following him?" I reply, with one half of my rational brain, while the other half is still horrified at the call I almost made just minutes ago.
"I just.. you know.. wait, what's wrong?" I don't know how she does it but sometimes I think she can literally sniff out my guilt.
She narrows her eyes.
"You did something stupid, didn't you?"
My silence is confession enough.
"Give me your phone."
And before I can react, she lunges forward and grabs it from my fingers.
"Oh my God! You were about to call Sahil, weren't you?"
I groan and cover my face with my hands.
"Well, what the fuck do you expect? It's Valentine's-Fucking-Day", I say, frustration spilling out of my words.
"God Maddy, we can't keep having the same fucking discussion over and over again. YOU. CAN'T. CALL. YOUR. EX. BOYFRIEND. Especially not on Valentine's eve. What the hell were you thinking?"
"Bitch please, it's not as if you're being super mature or anything. You're stalking your cheating ex on Instagram and you're one to talk!", I say, all defensive.
She opens her mouth to say something but then, thinking better, sighs dramatically and plops down on my bed.
"Shit man! What happened to us? We used to be so much fun. When did we turn into such miserable cows?", she says.
"Oh come on Vedi, we're still fun. It's just this stupid month with this stupid date. Fake couples with their fake love and their fake smiles, rubbing their fake happiness in our faces."
"Ugh. Just thinking about tomorrow makes me want to throw up."
"Hey, not on my bed."
She rolls her eyes, gives me her fuck-you-Monica-Geller look and finishes it up with another dramatic sigh.
"This is so unfair! We're going to die single. Vedika and Madhura - the crazy cat ladies that everyone avoids."
"Hey, I'm not going to be a crazy cat lady. I'd rather have....", I start and then noticing her murderous expression, finish with, "....dogs, but that's so not the point right now."
"Damn it, why couldn't have one of us been a guy! It would've been so much easier!", she groans.
"Or we could've both been lesbians."
Oh shit, it's red alert. When one or both of us starts wishing for change of gender or sexual orientation, it is an official emergency and if there was ever a time for emergency intervention, this is it. If one of us doesn't get our shit together right now, the night is going to spiral into a tragic little sob fest.
This time, I decide to be the grown-up.
"Hey, come on. We're overthinking it. It's just another day. It's not going to be that bad. In fact, think of everything that we're going to do tomorrow. It's going to be a fucking blast. We have more fun in one day as single girls than we've had in our entire relationships. Come on, you know we're going to have fun tomorrow. We'll even do Phoebe's boyfriend bonfire, if you want. You know, just to get out of the bad boyfriend cycle."
She gives me a wicked grin.
"We will?"
"Uh-huh. Although, no dancing around it naked."
"Damn! That was the best part!"
We both laugh.
I grab my laptop from across the bed. Noticing her questioning look I say, "Oh, just want to make sure we do the bonfire ritual right", and hit play on F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Hahhaaa. Though funny, but touching story. The best would be we treat 14 Feb as normal day and keep enjoying our Indian festivals
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