It was a few hours after the unexpected disaster. The confusion had died down and all that he could hear now, was the indistinct murmur of voices far away. He was a bit shaken and this was the only thing that could calm him. He was lying on the couch with earphones on. It was her playlist – her favourite songs that were playing in a loop. She had once given it to him as a birthday gift. And he missed her. He missed her terribly.
For the world and for her, they were the closest of friends. But he had been in love with her since a long time. She didn’t know that. He never told her. He had no idea what was stopping him. May be he was afraid – afraid that she might not love him back; afraid that she might say no; afraid that she might be in love with someone else; afraid that, to her, he might just be a friend and nothing more.
And then something happened that changed everything. A month ago, she had been offered a job that paid her to do what she loved doing the most – write. She was going to take up the offer. And she would be moving to another city. He felt like he had this huge hollow inside of him when she told him the news. It had been a great effort to congratulate her and to pretend that he was happy. It was a painful internal struggle. She was his friend – he should be happy for her. But then, he loved her and she didn’t know that and now, she was going away.
He knew he should have told her a long time ago. But somehow, he never felt that it was the right time. Somehow, it had always seemed like he had all the time in the world for that. And now, when he realized that everything was about to change, it seemed too selfish to stop her. She had worked hard and she deserved this opportunity. It was probably right to let her go.
His reverie was interrupted by the loud ringing of his cell phone. It was Karthik, his best buddy. His voice sounded urgent. It was Karthik’s tone that brought Arjun back to reality.
“Is the electricity at your place back?”
“Yes, got it back just a couple of minutes ago. Why? What is it?”
“Switch on the TV, man! You’re not going to believe this!”
And with that, the line got disconnected.
Oh yes, the minor tremors a few hours ago. It was like a mini-earthquake. It went away as easily as it came but it had left everyone terrified. There had been no damage – everything just shook for a while and then it was over. But the power had been cut off immediately. The phone networks were out of order. Even the internet was not working. It was like total isolation. Karthik’s call came in just a few minutes after the power had been restored.
Arjun switched on the TV and surfed through to the news channels. He stopped at a grim looking journalist rattling off the news report as if he had learnt it by heart.
“As you can see, this city has been caught in the middle of an extremely unexpected calamity. There has been an earthquake of a massive 7.5 Richter magnitude right here, around five hours ago. Seismic experts say that they did not see this coming. An earthquake of a smaller magnitude was probable but this comes as a huge shock. We are going to be right here, giving you up to the minute report of the entire situation. The accuracy of the predictions of the India Meteorological Department is being called in question. Given such disastrous consequences…”
The camera moved across the landscape. It was a picture of destruction.
“… there is undoubtedly going to be a lot of debate about who is to blame. The epicenter of the earthquake or its point of origin is believed to be roughly near the Victoria Road area…”
Victoria Road… Why did that sound familiar? He couldn’t place it but he was very sure that he had seen that address somewhere.
“…which is in the heart of the city and is normally quite crowded, according to residents. We are still unsure about the number of casualties. Rescue teams have responded very fast and are already in action here. The main landmarks in this area are the All India Radio (AIR) headquarters, the old Defense Colony of ex-servicemen and the impressive office building of the famous Quantum Publishing House, all of which have been heavily damaged. As you can see…”
But he did not hear a word of it anymore. Quantum Publishing… He finally recognized the address. It struck him like a bolt of lightning. He felt numb with the shock. And there was only one thing he could think of.
Shruti.
She was in that city. She had just moved there. The epicenter of the quake was precisely the place where she lived and worked. And with that, the possibility of what could happen crashed down on him like a bucket full of ice-cold water. It was right then, that for once in his life, he was absolutely terrified – shaken to the core.
He had to know whether she was safe. That was all that mattered now. He took out his cell phone, unlocked it and scrolled through the contacts till he found the name and the number he was looking for. He dialed her number and waited breathlessly for the other side to ring. This is what he heard instead.
“The number you are trying is not reachable.”
He tried again. The same voice answered. The phone networks were probably still out of order there. Yet, he tried a third time. No change. He tried to call her office. Still the same recorded voice. Frustrated, he swore loudly and was about to flung his cell phone onto the couch when it rang for a second time. Arjun answered the call. It was Karthik again. He sounded worried too.
“Arjun, did you see…?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t that where Shruti just…?”
“Yes.”
There was silence for a while on both ends.
“So did you try to…?”
“Yes.”
“Well…?”
“Not reachable.”
Silence again.
“You don’t think she…?”
“I don’t know. And I hate not knowing.”
“Isn’t there any other way to reach her? Any other contact number?”
“I tried her office too. I think all the networks are down.”
Silence.
“Arjun…”
“I don’t know what do, Karthik. I don’t know. She was right here and I did not realize it. I did not realize what it meant to have her here with me every day. I did not realize her value even after she went away. I did not realize what it was like for someone you loved to be alive. And now… if anything happens to her… ”
And he broke down.
“It’s going to be fine, Arjun. She is going to be fine. Just be patient and wait.”
Some moments passed before Arjun spoke again. There was a new determination in his voice when he said, “You know I can’t do that. I’m going there, Karthik. I’m going to find her and bring her back.”
“HAVE YOU TOTALLY LOST IT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND TO EVEN THINK OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”
“I have to go.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Arjun, listen to me…”
“This might be the stupidest thing I ever do – impulsive and dangerous – but I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t go there now. I’m sorry.”
And he hung up.
It was utter madness to go there. Somewhere in his logical brain, he already knew that. And yet, to him, it seemed to be the only right thing to do. Without giving himself time to think, he put his cell phone in his pocket and grabbed his jacket. He fetched the keys to his house and car and locked the door behind him. He rushed downstairs, got into his car and the first thing he did was plug in her playlist to the music player in the car. He drove out of the parking lot, rolled down the windows and drove off.
He was vaguely aware of his phone ringing. Karthik was calling him again. Arjun knew that he was worried but he did not answer the call. He was in no mood to listen to any sense or logic and he was certainly not going back. The thought of Shruti occupied his entire brain and their last meeting kept replaying in his head.
It had been exactly a week ago that he last saw her. She had come to his place and was in a great hurry.
“I’m leaving early tomorrow”, she said.
“Well, that’s great! You are going to do really well. I’m happy for you, Shruti!” Or at least, I should be.
“Thanks! I thought I’d just stop by. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye, could I? Oh, I’m going to miss you. ”
And then she did something that she had never done before. She gave him an awkward fleeting hug.
“Come and see me once in a while. If you can take holidays for your stupid cricket matches, then you can definitely take a holiday for your dear friend. This is it then. Take care.”
And then she was gone.
He knew what she would say if she were there. To her, it was one of those times when people didn’t value the cost of life. “The uncertainty of death opens your eyes to the possibilities of life”, he could almost hear her say.
More memories kept coming back to him. And instead of making him feel better, they made him feel worse. They reminded him of all those chances that he had missed. It was his fault. All those reasons that had kept him from telling her seemed too petty now. She could have been safe with him back home only if he’d had the nerve to tell her the truth. It was all, his fault. And it would be his fault if she were… He could not bring himself to say the word ‘dead’. He could not imagine it. He tried to call her again a few more times. Not reachable. Every time.
Three hours it took to reach there. Three hours of heart stopping nervousness. Once there, he navigated through the city asking people for the address. As he neared his destination, he could see an increasing pile of rubble that had been, just hours ago, a place where people lived and worked. It was a scene of absolute devastation.
It had all been a blur from the time he had stepped into his car to come here, even the three hour long drive. And it was still a blur now. He got out of the car and walked through the rubble, looking for her face and completely oblivious to the surroundings.
After a time that seemed like eternity, he suddenly felt the hollow inside him filling up. He had finally found what he had been looking for. She was there. She was alive. Injured, but alive. There was a bandage across her head and another around her left hand. She was sitting in the middle of a few other injured people. It seemed like she was administering them first aid. Relief, such as he had never known before, washed over him like warmth. And suddenly, everything was crystal clear.
He slowly approached her from the behind and said, “I didn’t know you were a part time doctor as well.”
She turned around and every line on her face showed shock. She was shocked to see him there. Earthquake was eight hours ago. And it would have taken three hours for Arjun to reach there. In her mind, she did the math and it dawned on her this was no coincidence. He was there just for her. He was there to see if she was alright.
Composing herself, she managed to reply with a smirk, “Just one of my many talents, you know.”
He smiled and pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.
“If anything had happened to you…”
“Shh… I’m okay. Don’t say another word about it.”
And she hugged him back.
He knew he would live today. And tomorrow would be another day.
- Gayatri Shejwal
